• What's for dinner? Try one of these recipes!

Confession: I Don't Change in the Locker Room

By: Nicole Nichols : 10/29/2008 6:54:11 AM : 460 comments

I grew up playing school sports and taking phys ed class, so I've been in my share of locker rooms. But now that I'm an adult, the only locker room I encounter is at the gym. And to be perfectly honest, I'm really—I mean REALLY—uncomfortable changing in the women's locker room. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm the odd woman out or if I'm normal after all.

When I was in high school, everyone would change in the locker room before gym, practices and games. But unlike my parents' generation, we weren't required to shower there afterwards, and I don't think a single girl ever used the locker room showers. Beyond that, we were mostly clothed most of the time. Although you wouldn't know it from seeing how Hollywood often depicts the "girls locker room," there were no thongs or bare chests. At my school, the girls would change as quickly as possible, usually not talking to each other much and facing away from one another. And when we'd have to put on sports bras, we were pros on being prudish: We'd put our sports bras on top of our underwire bras, and then unclasp and strategically pull the underwire bra out from underneath the sports bra—never exposing anything to anyone. I never thought any of this was weird or uncomfortable at the time. Perhaps I was more comfortable with my body then than I am today. But now that I have the choice about where to change, rare is the day that I change clothes in my gym locker room.

I don't know why I feel so weird about it. Maybe it's because this environment is strikingly different than the locker rooms of my youth. Here, women actually walk around, face each other, and even talk to each other in various states of undress. And they use the showers, too! And it's not just the thin ones or older ones or the fit ones. Women of all ages, shapes and sizes seem to be really comfortable being naked or half-naked in front of other women. Not me. I pretty much avoid it if at all possible, usually changing in the restroom at work before I head to the gym, or sometimes changing in the bathroom stall inside the locker room.

I don't know what I'm so afraid of—maybe silent judgment? We all know how women can be, how we size each other up and compare ourselves to others. Maybe I don't like it just because it's so different than what I grew up with. Or maybe it's a generational thing. I know that my mom and grandmother are a lot more comfortable about this stuff than my sister and I are.

But in reality, I'm actually jealous. I wish I could be as free and feel as comfortable about my own body as these women seem to feel about theirs.

How about you? Do you feel self-conscious in the locker room? Or do you think I'm making a big deal out of nothing?

Follow spcoachnicole on Twitter

Click here to to redeem your SparkPoints
  You will earn 3 SparkPoints


NEXT ENTRY >   Mixing Alcohol and Energy Drinks NOT a Good Idea...

Comments (Scroll to end to leave a comment)

ARIANORCHID
7/16/2010
2:46:04 PM

 I do not like exposing myself, unless it is infront of a member of my family. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way and we should do what makes us feel comfortable. We do not have to always feel as if we need to make others happy by following suit.
460
NAYPOOIE
7/15/2010
6:26:42 PM

 I never showered in high school, but I had to get over that when I went in the Army. Our shower room in basic training was a single space with a pole in the middle and six shower heads. 50 women had to get showered in 30 minutes, so there was no privacy option. You ducked under the showerhead and got wet, then ducked back out so someone else could use it while you soaped up. You get used to it.
459
KATHY_NATURELVR
7/15/2010
5:13:27 PM

 It's funny - not funny "ha ha" but funny odd - the number of women at my work that change in the bathroom versus the locker room. Our work just put a fitness center in and even the thin women change in the bathroom. I guess it just goes to show that everyone has their own insecurities.

So you're not alone!!

I change in the locker room prior to working out but change in the shower after showering - but only because it's easier than toting my clothes around (I'm losing my all-time highest weight from pregnancy).

You look beautiful! I saw someone else mention that they would not have noticed your scars if you hadn't mentioned them. I thought the same thing - I had to look for them. And IMHO there is no reason to be ashamed of scars from a childhood injury...just be thankful you survived and that you have a very interesting story to tell. Because to have not survived would have been the tragedy.

HUGS
458
RUNNERGURL61
4/29/2010
12:09:37 PM

 OK - I'm with you. We have three curtained changing rooms, and after I shower, I go in there to dress. I do feel self conscious and uncomfortable.
457
MAGGIE248
4/28/2010
1:53:13 PM

 I have issues changing in the lockers and anywhere else. I have as always been shy but since i have had 2 children and put on about 2 stone it has got worse. I get dressed in the bathroom so no one can see me.
456
DREMARGRL
4/28/2010
7:35:29 AM

 I don't have an occasion to do so, but it really wouldn't bother me one way or the other. I did shower at school during gym, although I didn't go out of my way to prance in front of others, I had no qualms about this totally natural function of showering and changing into clean, fresh clothes. It appears that people who are in athletics or other group activities regularly aren't as hung up about it. I feel good about my body and am not overly modest.
455
40PLUSANDFIT
4/27/2010
3:05:51 PM

 I saw the one poster ask about kids and to be honest that does make a difference. I was so modest and shy before I had my children, but after you've been poked and prodded while in labor and pooped (oops) on the bed because your epidural was too strong.. yeah, no modesty any more.
454
ACLASSYONE
4/27/2010
2:17:25 PM

 Your younger years match mine but I go to a gym now during my lunch break and I shower and all. I change infront of my locker, and where a towel to and from the shower. But while I'm changing I don't care who sees what. If you don't like it, don't look. If you like it, don't look bc I'm not interested. All their naked bodies look odd to me whether young/old/slim/fat. I don't care either way.
453
KLETCHER3
4/27/2010
10:34:37 AM

 Thank you so much for this! I would have avoided gym class entirely if I could have, but took the required class, and hated changing in front of everyone else. As I have grown older, I have become more comfortable with my body, but still feel like I deserve a little privacy when changing. When I took a swiming class recently, it was after work, and thank goodness they did provide some stalls to change in. And, at least it was an adult class, so there were no children. Some of the ladies would change in the open, but I usually change in a stall. My Mom, on the other hand, would just wrap her towel around her and drive home wet, and change when she got there. So, I think it is a generational thing, and also, a space thing. They don't provide enough space at the swimming pool for anyone who is at all overweight to fit in a stall, and is slightly uncomfortable changing in public. I'm so glad that it isn't only my Mom and I that are uncomfortable. And, I think that it is our weight that sometimes comes into play.
452
THINAGIN2
4/26/2010
1:23:56 PM

 I myself would just as soon only dress or undress in private! I do know people that have no qualms taking their clothes off anywhere!
451
ZNEKITA
4/26/2010
10:41:44 AM

 To be honest, I would probably feel more comfortable changing in a room full of men than a room full of woman.
450
SAGE150
4/25/2010
10:30:22 PM

 Frankly I'm not bothered at all changing in front of other people regardless of whether I am morbidly obese, obese, overweight (currently), or in my normal sized skin. I am 33 years old. My mother was always very open, honest, and comfortable about her body when she was with me....even though most of the time, she would have preferred to be a few pounds lighter. I carry that with me and am very proud to be her daughter.
449
CHECHECARINA
4/25/2010
9:34:30 PM

 Ha ha, try a Korean gym or Korean sauna. Tons of naked people scrubbing each other and whatnot.

Old ladies will walk up and point out your tattoo and inquire quite openly about any gang affiliations you might have.

On bad days, somebody's grandma (no slim jim herself) will walk up and touch you, pointing out where they think you should lose weight.

I used to get freaked out, but now I just laugh about it.
448
RUTGERSM0M
4/25/2010
9:05:28 PM

 I am uncomfortable changing in the locker room. I try to get in a corner and get my clothes on and off under a towel. I do notice women walking around in the nude as if they are the only ones there or if they are in the privacy of their own homes. This is not what I want to see (even when lot looking). I try my best to not only be modest but respectful.
447
BEANPOD77
4/25/2010
5:12:45 PM

 I absolutely agree with you! I hated it in high school. So much I only did the one year of phys ed that was mandatory. I am almost 50 and I still avoid it like the plague. I do not think I will ever change. ( pardon the pun) :-) After reading many of these posts, now I know I am a long way from being alone!!
446
MARIABELLA
4/25/2010
11:18:53 AM

 I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels the same way! I'd be uncomfortable being nude in front of people I knew, let alone complete strangers. When I was younger I went camping with my family in Canada and a lady came into the ladies room of the camp and stripped naked and proceded to sponge bathe at the sinks even though there were showers available a few feet away! Talk about clearing out a room and some ladies had their young sons with them! Thank you for letting me know it's not just me!
445
PRESHA911
4/25/2010
10:44:02 AM

 I would never change in the locker room and it's more about modesty than embarrassment.
444
CLG1956
4/25/2010
9:52:14 AM

 I thought I was the only one uncomfortable around nude women walking around in a locker room. It just makes me plain uncomfortable, I am all for body acceptance, but I just would prefer a little more modesty.
443
IMAVISION
4/24/2010
8:18:27 PM

 Modesty for ALL will always get this gal's vote!
442
CMRAND54
4/24/2010
5:54:16 PM

 I was very shy in high about changing in the locker room, but now I really don't care. I even shower in the gym locker room. I am amazed by all the body types I see there, all shapes and sizes. I certainly don't have the worst body there, and I'm a long way from the best, but we're all there to get more exercise, so we can all be proud.
441
YOADDICCTION101
4/24/2010
1:08:20 PM

 I use to be the shy girl in the lockerroom when I was in highschool. Now that I've gorwn up some and became and adult I'm not so scared of changing in the locker room. I've actually begone to like myself the way I am. I think because I have become comfortable in my own skin I'm able to not care if someone judges me in the shower. I'll I want to do is wash off and not be so stinky.

For me to become more comfartbale in my skin I had to stand in front of the mirror fully naked and tell myself this is me and this is beatifull...I love my body...after doing that daily for a couple of months I noticed I was able to do it for longer and be happy about it.
440
RENA1965
4/24/2010
12:29:59 PM

 I joined a gym with a women section.. The women over 40 have their own changing room, so to the women 50 and up.. Sometimes I go into the 50 and up, the ladies accept me because of my weight loss and plastic surgery.
They so totally understand I want to be away from the giggle sector.. Nothing like meeting startled body language saying with hell happened you look wrecks my day more.. Women up in age accept skin folds, scars and wrinkles.. I am also against changing infront of a childrens fitness class member every wednesday.. I feel exposed and kids giggle- they are kids..
439
JUSTSUZY5
4/24/2010
11:31:55 AM

 Being a ++ size woman I feel like people stare at me when I am wearing clothes!! It is hard to use the pool at the gym because of changing out of my weight suit. Thanks for making me feel more normal - it is not just me.
438
ASTABETH
4/24/2010
9:52:22 AM

 Do you have kids? From what I've discussed with the people I know, those without kids don't want to be seen, and those with kids don't really care. I know I was painfully modest before I had kids. Now, I would still prefer no one saw me, but as long as others are changing in the room, I don't really care.
437
LONGWINDINRD
4/24/2010
2:48:31 AM

 Sooooo miss my gym membership. Loved the great luxury of being able to take how ever long I wanted to shower, put on my makeup, and use the sauna in the locker room. This was the one place no one could interrupt me, we weren't even supposed to have our cell phones on, so no one could even call me. Sometimes that was my only time alone all day, even though there were a lot of others women there! I'm not a locker room hater.
436
BUGGPOTT
4/23/2010
12:48:34 PM

 There are many of us out there who feel the same way as you. Thank you for sharing this topic. I am 65 yrs old and over 250 lbs. I also was horrified the first time I walked into the gym locker room. I don't like being naked in front of other women, but I now go in with a mindset of "I am here to get my workout done for me, I need this, and the heck with what anyone else thinks". You keep going and someday you will be the one they will be jealous of.
435
DOCQUISTIS
4/23/2010
7:36:01 AM

 I think it's a combination of generations and cultures. I used to do the "uberfast" changing while in high school and through my university years. A few years ago, I moved to Denmark. Here, women of all ages walk around naked - not just for showers, either. I've seen women completely naked, chatting on mobile phones while they get changed. Initially, I felt really uncomfortable but over time, I've come to embrace it. It's really forced me to confront my own nudity phobias and come out the other side feeling more comfortable with my body.
434
CAROLCRC
4/22/2010
2:43:05 PM

 Seriously - this drives me nuts!

It's really generational - the over 50's tend to be a lot less concerned about privacy in the locker room. I can tell I embarrass some of the younger ones when I change by the lockers and shower afterwards. But I'm not going back to work stinky! That's what the showers and lockers are there for!

But - I hate it when I have to use the toilet and all the stalls are taken by people leisurely changing clothes! That's just not right.
433
TERFREE
4/22/2010
11:56:27 AM

 I'm with you, I even have trouble undressing in front of family! Sounds like we have a lot of company!
432
TWO_SPARROWS
4/22/2010
10:42:10 AM

 Well, if it's any consolation, I've never, EVER been comfortable changing in front of other women. Showering after a swim? Yup...I'm in the swimsuit. Changing before or afterward? Yup, I'm hiding in the toilet stall. We weren't expected to shower afterward 35 years ago when I was in high school, but many of the "popular" girls would do it...and get a big kick out of embarrassing the life out of those that chose not to. It was bad enough I started looking for excuses not to go to phys.ed.

I can understand your hesitancy to go near some of the change room, too, because they're NOT always the cleanest places on the planet, either.

You don't want to sit on a bench or a chair because of all the wet surfaces. Seriously...if you've just come out of the pool or the shower, wipe up the moisture you leave behind.

I've simply decided that my comfort is my issue, and if changing in private where I'm comfortable is something someone else finds odd, that's THEIR issue and can deal with it on their terms. I am not going to worry about what someone else thinks because I'm important to me.
431
ALYFITN
4/22/2010
9:01:44 AM

 I'm 51 and notice a big difference in attitude between my generation and yours. I've a physically fit attractive 17 year old son who is uncomfortable in a locker type situation whereas I think nothing of it--probably because of required showers in phys ed when I was young.
430
JUST_TRI_IT
4/22/2010
3:15:12 AM

 Same here! I use the bathroom stall or one of the two "swim" lockers at our gym. I still find it rather odd that women do change in front of strangers!
429
CLCCOOL
4/21/2010
8:27:05 PM

 Oh! I'm a totaly bathroom stall changer! Especially, because I go to the pool & there's no way I'm changing EVERYTHING infront of other women! I even wear my swimsuit in the shower there! (hey, it gets it clean, too!) Call me modest!
428
VNUSFLYTRP
4/20/2010
2:21:18 PM

 Oh my gosh, I thought I was the only one too! It's crazy that women can do that. I just can't. I use the pool at my school and shower there afterwards and I gotta tell you, you have to be cautious walking in/out the shower area. The other day there was an older lady coming out of the shower completely in the buff and started talking to me about the weather no less. I have never felt so uncomfortable. I didn't know what to do with myself; I didn't want to look up as she dried herself off. So I focused on a point behind her head while she carried on conversation. Needless to say, it was the longest 10 seconds EVER. I know I'm self-conscious and that has lots to do with it. But skinny or fat, I don't think I'll ever get used to that.
427
FERNASHES
4/20/2010
11:13:07 AM

 About the comments about it being courteous to change quickly... why? The gym is your time, why should you care what other people are doing? It's just bodies.

And the post where apparently it's against the rules to be naked in the sauna? In Europe, it's against the rules to wear anything in the sauna, though of course a towel is required. Apparently it's unhygienic to have underwear on.

Different countries, different customs?

Fascinating to see how differently everybody thinks about this, though.
426
FERNASHES
4/20/2010
11:09:33 AM

 Living in Europe, well. The first time I walked into a swimming pool locker room in France and was confronted with all of these women walking around... naked... I was pretty shocked. In the gym locker room here in NL, we don't actually have a changing area that's separate and even trying to towel off too far in the shower will turn the water back on. So, nervous and prudish as I was, I learned to deal with it. Some days I can hold my head higher than others and not care - other days, it's harder. But I'd rather just get it over with, rather than struggling with my clothes.

I haven't dared the co-ed sauna yet, though...
425
ALIAHQUAD
4/20/2010
1:10:37 AM

 I don't like changing in the locker room. So I take my cloths in the shower with me after I work out. I hang them up so that they don't get wet. Then after I get finished with my shower,I dry off and get dressed in the shower stall.
424
-MOVED-
4/19/2010
4:22:57 PM

 I always thought it was weird that starting in middle school, we started changing clothes for gym at school with our same-sex peers. I mean, we don't change in front of our family members, why with our classmates? Admitedly, there was some initial embarrassment type trauma I held internally a secret, but once everyone was doing it and it was no big deal, I went along. But as an adult, I go home. Guess deep-down, I'm still not a fan.
423
GENKIDESU
4/19/2010
4:34:27 AM

 I was an incredible prude around other women as a teenager, but no longer. It's definitely a common teenage thing, though; to feel embarrassed, awkward, inadequate and hyper-aware of one's changing body, and worried how it "measures up" (or not) to the bodies of others. Teenagehood is a tough road, and privacy helps a lot with personal comfort.

As an adult, I have become more involved in the Asian side of my family, particularly in visiting bathhouses / spas, where it is perfectly normal to sit in the hot pools or the sauna while naked, often chatting with one's friends. It would be terribly odd and out of place to wear a swimsuit there. Maybe because of this, I am also much more casual about locker room situations, and now try to remember to cover up a bit more quickly in gym locker rooms so as not to perhaps embarrass others around me who have "issues" with nudity even regarding people of the same sex.

In a way, it seems kind of ridiculous to me; I firmly believe in modesty around the opposite sex and in non-bathhouse or locker-room or bathhouse type situations, but women have the same "stuff" regardless of their shape or size, so embarrassment in this area seems silly and unwarranted to me now. I personally don't "compare" myself with others, and I don't actually care if they "compare" themselves with me. I don't "watch", we are all just there to get changed, or soak in hot tubs. Big deal. It actually only calls attention to oneself to be trying to hide something (one's body) that isn't shameful or offensive. Being naked for a short while during changing or hot-pool -soaking is merely doing what the circumstances require. No one I know is "showing off" or anything like that.

Bodies are bodies, we all have them, there is nothing wrong with having them, and certainly nothing shameful about them that needs covering in certain specific circumstances like a locker room or a bathhouse.

....All that being said however, everyone has to go with what is most comfortable to them, which may depend upon upbringing, personal experience and such. Respect and "live and let live" are useful guidelines for life.
422
SPARKLING-REET
4/18/2010
11:09:58 PM

 I live 3 minutes from the gym so I get to shower & change at home. I feel so lucky!
421
MNDIVA
4/18/2010
6:50:53 PM

 I don't change there either.
420
SUZYMARC
4/18/2010
6:49:24 PM

 Nicole I'm with you on this one. Even in school I would do any changing inside a bathroom stall, not out in the open of the locker room. I've always been more developed than my peers and I just am too self conscious even today. Kids can be cruel enough growing up I just didn't feel like giving people anymore fuel to fire at me. Today, I would still not be comfortable in locker room. Which could be another reason I would prefer to workout at home instead of a gym. I'm doing this for ME not others and I don't need any negativity around making me lose my resolve.
419
HONEYDRIPPER
4/18/2010
2:37:34 PM

 I've always been timid about undressing in front of others, even when I had a slim figure. When I was a teenager I went shopping with a friend and her younger brother. She was charged with the task of buying a pair of jeans for him. After trying on a pair, he announced that he had to use the restroom. An argument ensued between he and his sister about taking off the pants before going to the restroom. His sister insisted he take them off and put on his own pants before going. Well, before he could get out of the pants, he wet them. Security appeared out of nowhere to demand payment for the pants. It was then that I realized that when I was in the dressing room trying on clothing, someone was very likely watching. I've never been able to try on clothing in dressing rooms since then, but rather, buy the garmet,try it on at home and return it if it doesn't work for me..
418
APRYLSHOWERS
4/18/2010
12:42:52 PM

 I'm so glad to hear that other people feel like this. I am a very private person. I was raised to be and never had to share a bedroom or bathroom with siblings. So I was not used to beiong undressed on front of others anyway.
417
BIGCHUNKYMAMA
4/18/2010
11:59:07 AM

 I am fine in front of my husband, okay in front of a doctor as he is there to help me, I can get a massage no problem. In a locker room, it is different. I want to change as fast as I can. In high school, I would try to be the first one there and I could change very very quickly. I was 105 lbs and in great shape in high school. The truth is I don't like to feel judged and girls/women can be brutal. Being naked also has to do with how I was raised and that sharing all of me should be special. Why buy the cow if you can have the milk for free. While that doesn't apply to changing in front of women - it does apply that there are parts of me that are private. I prefer it that way. I hope that my children grow up to feel the same way.
416
NINABEENA1
4/18/2010
10:17:22 AM

 I TOTALLY agree with you! I, too, did the "bra trick" in middle and high school gym classes, and (as an adult) have even driven out of my way by 15 minutes to go to the gym that provides towels and private places to change. Call me crazy, but I'm right there with you!
415
LILPAT3
4/18/2010
9:58:45 AM

 I do not mind changing in a locker room at all as long as the other women present are not teenagers. Course I am a high school teacher and I am not going to change in front of students. Pools, gyms...I do not mind. I don't care what shape anyone has, or color, or whatever. I am there so shower, change and get on my way. It is not a peep show, I don't go out of my way to gawk and have never been anywhere that someone stared and "looked" too much! My parts are the same as the other females parts, differently sized but all the same. Get over being shy and get on with what you are in the locker room to do.
414
OHLOOKADUCK
4/18/2010
5:09:27 AM

 I think modesty has been sidelined a bit too much and I'm glad to hear that they don't require showers in high school any longer. I don't care what weight I have been, I like dressing in private!
413
PLINTHESS
4/18/2010
4:19:49 AM

 My gym is five minutes walk from my house, and because I don't like the showers (nowhere to put your shampoo, etc) I always walk home to shower and change. I walk there and back in my gym clothes. However, as a 66 year old grandmother, I admit it's a relief not to change and shower in front of others. But when I was younger, in the changing room at stage school, I would prance around happily naked - as we did occasionally at home (my Ma, sister and me - no men in the house) I never understood why people were so prudish. Now I do.
412
VRCATON
4/17/2010
11:16:34 PM

 I change in the locker room, but use a towel to drape myself so it's not all hanging out. I, too, have issues with boys in the women's locker room, some I've seen look old enough to go to the men's by themselves. I lucked out having girls, so I don't have to worry about my children's safety, they are with me.

I like to shower after I work out since I sweat like a stevedore and if I don't shower I end up with a nasty rash under the boobs!
411

  See More Comments

Please Log In To Leave A Comment:    Log in now
From Our friends at ThatsFit.com
    Getting Feed
See More at Thatsfit.com