Giving Thanks – 5 Ways to Develop an Attitude of Gratitude

To mark this week of thanks and giving, today we launch a weeklong series on giving thanks.

My grandfather moved in with my parents a few years after I left for college and he lived with them for many years. Each time I would go home to visit, I looked forward to his optimistic answer to the familiar question, 'how are you'. He would jokingly answer with something like, "I'm able to sit up and take nourishment" or "I read the paper this morning and didn't see my name" followed by a little chuckle and a smile. What my grandfather was jokingly trying to get across was the simple message that he was alive and had his health, so he was fine. Looking back, I can see that it truly conveyed how he felt and he was grateful for each day he had.

Unfortunately, I am not as good as my grandfather was when it comes to expressing daily gratitude for the wonderful life I have. I have always been someone that cruises through the day checking things off the list and planning for all that will come tomorrow. I was very busy in my younger days playing three sports, participating in 4-H, playing in the school orchestra, singing in the church choir, participating in youth groups, working part-time and going to school – many times all at the same time. Planning and balancing seems to be the way of life for as far back as I can remember.

The lessons I learned as an athlete are equally engrained as well. During my many years of competitive sports, I learned two things that tend to work against living in the moment and having an attitude of gratitude and contentment. The first is the idea that if you are not getting better you are getting worse because nothing stays the same and the second is the way to improve is to continuously set and reach new goals. Those are important and help people dream big, reach high and accomplish much, but they offer little incentive to stop and smell the roses along the way. Breezing through today and missing all that it has to offer is a mistake I have made for far too long and wish to change for my future. Here are 5 ways to develop an attitude of gratitude for today and all that it provides. I hope you will join me in the journey.

Keep a Gratitude Journal – It is easy to list all that didn't go our way each day but it can be just as easy to list what did. Keeping a journal that allows you to list 5 things daily that you are grateful for helps maintain a daily focus on all that is good in your life. Entering a quick entry before bed provides an opportunity to end the day on a positive note no matter what challenges you faced along the way. Focusing daily on all that you have and did that was right, good, positive and encouraging keeps the spotlight on the benefits of your goals but also on seeing the good in each day and each person in your life as well.

Use your abilities to help others - Whether you have been a Boy Scout or not, we can all commit to help other people at all times. Each of us has a unique set of gifts and talents that someone else could benefit from when we use them to help. There are many ways you can be helpful and use your abilities in a formal way. Perhaps you have a larger amount of time to give and could get involved in a longer term commitment such as helping build homes with your local Habitat for Humanity or mentoring a child through Big Brothers Big Sisters. However, if you don't have that kind of time to commit, there are plenty of small things that can make a big difference in your life as well as the life of someone else. I'm sure there is someone in your neighborhood or community that needs some help raking leaves this fall or someone that could use a hand hauling groceries to their car. I'm sure if you think about what you enjoy doing and what your abilities are, you can think of simple ways to make a difference in the life of someone else by taking a little time to help and as you do, be sure to be grateful for the ability and health to do it.

Give up negative self-talk – Self-talk is the dialogue that we have in our heads as we think and process about situations we encounter throughout our day. Sometimes that self-talk even comes out in how we talk with others. It can make you come off looking conceded if you are a teenage girl that goes around telling everyone that you know you look good. However, for most of us, especially if there are things about ourselves or our day that we don't like, the self deprecating things come out that others would never think if we didn't say them out loud. Comments such as "I know I look horrible today, I knew I shouldn't wear this outfit," or "I just shouldn't talk because I know I sound stupid." Whether you say negative things aloud or just think them doesn't matter as much as the fact that you are reinforcing negative thoughts and ideas about yourself. You can change this pattern but you have to realize you are doing it and make a conscious choice to stop beating yourself up.

Focus less on the lives and activities of others - When we focus on the success of others, many times we diminish our own success. If our friend has lost 5 pounds and we have lost 3, we quickly diminish our success in favor of theirs. The good in someone else's life should not diminish the good in our own and won't unless we allow it to. It is only a small step from admiration to jealousy when we focus on the new job promotion our brother got or the new car our neighbor is now driving especially when we are comparing it to our own situation. By focusing less on others, we are better able to keep our eyes on our prize and the road we have already traveled including the rocks, hills, and valleys we have crossed along the way.

Say Thank You – We teach our children to say thank you but how good are we at it ourselves. Saying thank you, especially when someone serves you, can go a very long way to making your day better as well as the person you are thanking. The person that takes your order and brings your food is serving you and deserves your thanks. The person holding the door for you is serving you and deserves your thanks. Those seem easy enough to remember to offer thanks for but what about the person who serves you with encouragement or support. Do we remember to thank them for their help and assistance? Those two simple words can go a long way to showing your gratitude to the service of others and when given freely, can be very freeing as well.

I mentioned my grandfather and his attitude of gratitude and that is what I will remember most about him. He was grateful for the blessings he had in his life, big and small. In the last few months of his life, he required a great deal of day-to-day care from my parents. Each night as my father would help his father into bed for the night he would say "thank you, son" including the night before he died. For my grandfather, a man of few words, these three words held great meaning of gratitude for all my parents had done for him that day. For my father, hearing those words at the end of a long day of work and care brought a small smile to his face because he knew how much his care had meant. In return, my father could then go to bed listing honoring his father with care as something for which he was grateful. As the saying goes, what comes around goes around and that can apply to an attitude of gratitude. Each small act of kindness leads to the next and suddenly they are all connected. Just like in the Liberty Mutual Insurance commercials, doing something nice encourages others to do something nice and it continues to spread and suddenly the attitude of gratitude is everywhere.

Will you help spread an attitude of gratitude around your community of influence?


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