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Should Mom of 555-Pound Boy be Charged with Neglect?

By: Jen Mueller : 7/3/2009 10:13:29 AM : 928 comments : 40,257 Views

Most parents only want to do the right thing and give their children a happy life. But when a child becomes overweight, or even obese, are they no longer doing the right thing? If not, should something be done? A mother in South Carolina has been charged with neglect (and put in jail) for allowing her 14-year old son, Alexander, to reach a dangerous weight of 555 pounds.

Officials say they have given Jerri Gray the chance to help her son and get him treatment, but she has not taken advantage of those opportunities. She says she doesn't have enough money for treatment. Jerri works multiple jobs to make ends meet, and says she doesn't have as much time as she'd like to prepare healthy meals for her son. She also says that sometimes she'd purchase fast food for him when she had to sleep between shifts.

Alex is now in the custody of the Department of Social Services. Jerri admits she's made mistakes. But she wants her son back, and the opportunity for them to learn together how to change their lives and get healthy. Should she be given that chance when her child's life is at risk because of his weight?

This story is heartbreaking to me for a number of reasons. I'm fortunate that I have the knowledge and tools to know what my children should and shouldn't be eating. I'm fortunate that I don't have to work multiple jobs to make ends meet, taking me away from them on a daily basis. But not everyone is so lucky. If you grew up in a home where fast food and high fat meals were the norm, you probably didn't learn anything different. It's easy to see how someone could get into a situation where they think they are taking good care of their child, but in reality their choices are doing more harm than good.

On the other hand, this child is not just 50 or even 100 pounds overweight. Alex's weight has reached a level that is very dangerous to his health. It's not clear exactly what officials did months ago to try and help Jerri before the situation reached this point. Was she given access to help? Was she given any tools to start changing his eating habits? Did she just choose not to follow through with it?

In my opinion, a 14-year old child needs his mother. Taking him away from the woman who loves and cares for him is not the solution. The solution is an intensive intervention with the two of them, giving them the education and resources they need to start turning things around. If someone is going to change their lifestyle, they need to learn how to establish new habits and behaviors. If they are given all of this and the mother still refuses to follow through, then I think that's a different story and more drastic measures need to be taken. But for now, I think they should be given the opportunity to change- together.

What do you think?


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Comments (Scroll to end to leave a comment)

MELLIE252
9/1/2010
11:09:46 AM

 i think that her excuses of time and money are a little on the lame side...last time i checked the produce aisle was one of the cheapest places to shop at my grocery store...and it takes less time to make a salad than it does to cook a meal. and while not always cost efficient most fast food places have healthier (salad/grilled chicked sandwiches/apples) options on their menus.
There are plenty of alternatives to what this mom has been feeding her son. mom needs to take some responsibility and realize that when it comes to our kids a lack of time is no excuse.
i have 3 kids at home, work a full time job and donate my time at school and to my kids extra curricular activities and still manage to cook for my kids. it takes a little planning but it can be done.
928
HEVVAJO
8/21/2010
2:48:21 PM

 sorry but this is complete abuse, perhaps if she didn't spend so much money on food, she wouldn't need 3 jobs. Its a discrace, this mother doesn't deserve children
927
CNIANE
8/20/2010
1:30:18 PM

 Before you judge either the mother or the child too harshly you should understand the facts of the case. It's obvious there's some fault here by the child and the mother, but even people who are well educated make bad decisions because they want to make those decisions. Also, as a kid I was overweight and 240 pounds. My situation came from emotional issues and I chose to feed the problem instead of dealing with it. Perhaps the boy is doing the same thing. It could be that he wants some attention from his mother. No way, should they take his mother away from him, but they should help her find a way to be with her son more often and to spend some quality time with her son. I really feel for both the boy and his mother in this situation. Each situation in life is individual and we don't fully know theirs so we shouldn't judge it. Just because I have the capacity to change my life, doesn't mean that everyone else does or wants to change theirs. I really hope both the mother and child get the help they need and they both become healthier together as a team.
926
LEONINA
8/20/2010
12:22:41 PM

 Where will the blame stop if this woman is allowed to be charged? When I was 14 we had many health classes in P.E. that taught us about healthy living and I can only imagine how much the education system has changed to stress that in the past ten years. This boy may be 14 and rely on his parents, but he is also at an age where he is able to start making decisions about what to get in the lunch line. It is not entirely the mothers fault.
925
JADERAE14
7/21/2010
12:46:40 PM

 Unless this boy has some sort of medical problem where excess weight would be expect then yes this is the mother's "fault" Whether they should be separated is a hard issue. I noticed some comments that the mother working multiple jobs shows she is trying but here is what many are missing 555 pounds! Unless this boy has severe medial issues an extreme number of calories would be needed to reach 555 pounds by age 14, more so than your average unhealthy overeater. I have treated my body poorly for many years eating more fast food than would be considered a regular serving and too many sugary foods and empty carbs. I was not lucky to have healthy foods and good nutrition as a child and by age 14 I was a little over 200 pounds. But as the article said this is not just 50 or 100 pounds overweight this boy is several hundred pounds overweight. This isn't just lack of education about nutrition or poor food choices or even just your ordinary overeating, this boy is ingesting an extreme number of calories each day and if income is a problem part of it may be the grocery bill.
924
SUNSHINE6859
7/10/2010
12:54:13 AM

 Lord have mercy! Ignorance of the law is no excuse... She had to know that she was allowing her son to be at risk for diabetes, heart attack, stroke and a host of serious illnesses...She had to know especially in this information age, there is no excuse. She is responsible. If I do this to myself, I am to blame, me alone. If I as a parent allowed my child through apathy or whatever reason to become that over weight then yes, I should be arrested for child abuse because that is exactly what it is, abuse. When ever in this country are we going to make people responsible for their own actions? Well, I guess we all could sue all the fast food companies, that would solve the problem. Today is just not the day to come accross these kind of articles. I'm just not in the mood for obesity issues... I'm going to bed, I need so sleep and an attitude adjustment!
923
TRISH579
7/9/2010
9:52:05 AM

 Let's view this from a different side. Mom is working 3 jobs to keep the household afloat. She doesn't need any additional stress, guilt, etc. laid on her. The fact that she's working those 3 jobs to keep it together tells me she's not well educated.
The 555 lb child should be, by definition - disabled. Mom should easily qualify for some relief, and some extra help in the house. Extra money for good foods, or a periodic delivery of healthy foods, and the aid of a nutritionist/home health aid and a therapist/exercise specialist for the boy also. That child's life is at stake here.
922
JMR115
7/6/2010
3:31:04 PM

 I would agree that it is child abuse if the parent were lazy and not willing to cook for her child. Clearly this woman is working three jobs to support them. She does not appear to be lazy.

Rather than split this family up and pay a foster family to care for him, they should supplement her. It is far more cost effective to pay a parent supplemental income than to jail her and send him off to foster care.

It makes no sense. It also opens up the child to undue stress, potential abuse by strangers and a whole host of other problems that could impact his interaction with society in the future.

Bottom line, what is best for the child? His parent.

In addition, it costs more to feed a family healthy food than to feed them off the value menu at some of the fast food restaurants. Not to mention the time factor, which is an issue in the above article.

I rarely, if ever eat fast food. It makes me feel lethargic for days after eating it, so I just avoid it altogether. There again, I do have the time to prepare meals and get lunch ready.

The old adage...."Never judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes", definitely applies here, especially to those who do not have children.

Just saying...
921
RYANSHEW
7/5/2010
11:39:10 AM

 This is child abuse. Bottom line. Saying we cannot blame the parent is ridiculous, if this child was extremely underweight no one would be making excuses for the mother. Weight like this at this age starts at very young age and should have been addressed a lot earlier, it is the right step that this be considered abuse and we will see this happen more and more. It is a sad circumstance for the child but can be improved with help. I hope cases like this happen more and more to shed light on the problem that begins so young. You cannot expect a child to stop eating the way his mom programmed him to. Food at this point for him is an addiction. If a mother let their child get addicted to drugs there would be no argument here. When you talk to people who are obese you will find that even though they know what a proper diet is and about exercise( a lot of them are more knowledgeable than a lot of "fit" people I know), they just can't seem to implement it. It is an addiction at this point, and it is extremely hard to stop.

Again bottom line, CHILD ABUSE.
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PAMMY2259
7/2/2010
11:56:08 AM

 I AM RAISIN A 13 YR OLD GRDAUGHTER, SHE IS VERY ELERT 2 HOW SHE LOOKS, DRESSES, ETC.AT 14, HE SHOULD BE TOO. HE IS OLD ENOUGH TO BE ABLE 2 LOOK IN THE MIRROR & SEE WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE. TO SAY " I DONT WANT 2 LOOK LIKE THIS." HIS MOM WORKS 2 HARD IT SEEMS 2 TRY & MAKE A HOME FOR HIM. HE NEEDS 2 HELP HER, HELP HIM SELF... HE IS JUS BOUT THE AGE AT NOTICING GIRLS.. AS FOR TAKIN HIM FROM HIS MOTHER, THAT IS A MISTAKE. IF SHE CANT AFFORD COUNCELIN ETC 2 HELP HER SON; SUM 1. SUM AGENCY SHOULD STEP IN, PICK HER UP & SAY. LET ME HELP U....
919
ESMERALDA1969
7/1/2010
10:44:59 AM

 This is typical of today's society. Single mom, working numerous jobs just to put a roof over her family's head. Fast food and unhealthy food is much cheaper than healthy foods. Many fast food restaurants have a " DOLLAR" menu. For a few dollars the child can eat and a meal may cost 10 dollars or more to fix healthy foods. These dollar menus are hurting society as a whole and when you only have a limited income and are tired from working so much it is easy to see how this problem ballooned into an out of control situation. This mother loves her child and putting her in jail for this when there is a limited amount of jail space to begin with (here in Illinois criminals are being paroled early for lack of space) is a crime. This mom needs financial help so she doesn't have to work so much and education on how to feed a family healthy food on a financial budget and time budget. Family life is going to hell in a hand basket in our country as this economy continues to do so poorly.
918
FERRFERR
7/1/2010
2:39:30 AM

 Based on comments from the "Sue McDonald's" blog post the mother should be charged. Despite the fact that the kid is only 14 he cannot drive himself to the fast food places, nor does he have money of his own to buy it with. Thus it is 100% the mothers fault her child is beyond morbidly obese.

And yet people here are saying that the child is old enough to make choices on their own. His mother shaped the way he thinks about food. So which way is it people? Is the onus on the parents or the child? Are the parents wholly responsible for the actions of their child until they are legal adults or not?
917
CRIB5023
6/30/2010
10:41:17 PM

 This family needs help not jail and separation. This will only give both mother and child more scars to live with.
916
KARATE_KID
6/30/2010
10:13:06 PM

 These people need education and concrete help, not punishment. She has to work multiple jobs and rely on fast food so she can sleep between shifts? Where's the dad? Where's child support? Where are her health care providers, or is she one of the millions of Americans who don't have health care?

It's easy to judge others, based on only a short article in the news. There are a lot of unanswered questions, but I do know that for every dollar spent on helping families in tough situations, the government saves 9 dollars on fixing problems at a later date.
915
MARYLANDTEACHER
6/30/2010
8:27:53 AM

 I don't understand why, if she can't afford treatment, is she spending her money on fast food??

My husband and I are pinching pennies and going out to eat something unhealthy and expensive (by comparison to a homemade meal) would be the absolute LAST thing we would spend our money on.

I think this is a serious problem with the low-income demographic. Why do they keep eating fast food?! IT COSTS MONEY. I know food at home costs money too, but you can't compare the cost of a cheeseburger with a PB&J at home....and don't get me started on Starbucks.
914
BLOODVISIONS
6/29/2010
3:07:05 PM

 Maybe I am being harsh, but if you can't afford to provide a somewhat healthful life for your child, don't have children at all?
913
CAROJONES
6/26/2010
1:01:15 PM

 This may be harsh also, but hear are my thoughts:

First:
A 14 year old may legally be a child -- but they are NOT a "child" i.e. dependant on an adult, unable to care for themselves, unless the parent made them that way!!! (I'm not talking about children with development problems or who are mentally or physically "challenged".)

A 14 year old is not stupid or uneducatable or unable to read and follow instructions. (When my children were 10 - they could fix themselves a meal using simple instructions: 2 pieces of bread, lunchmeat, mayo, a piece of fruit. They could make a salad, add tuna or chicken. This is NOT complicated.)

Second:
Not only does this "mother" have to take responsibility for her actions, inactions and YES - ABUSE, but this "child" has too also. I don't think the mother physically forced fed him more -- she just allowed it, facilitated it.

Both of these people need a visit from Jillian Michaels and need some determination of their own.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

Or in other words, you reap what you sow.

Can we get an update as it happens on this situation??

Caro
912
ETHELMERZ
6/19/2010
9:05:57 PM

 Is the mother also very fat? Some of these stories you see on tv, you can tell right away there is some genetic thing going on, 555 pounds for any human is not just from a little too much "fast food" eating, there is something wrong with the body, and whatever it is, it's gonna cost alot from health professionals to try to fix that. The state doesn't have the money to really do it right, and neither does this parent, or other parents like her. Putting the mother in jail only makes the state think it's doing it's job. In the end, no one will be helped, and the news won't tell us anything until the boy passes away or writes a book and goes on some show. That's how the current media works.
911
ANDRAXIA
6/19/2010
1:01:43 PM

 I have a feeling this is a single mother situation or she wouldn't have to work multiple jobs. I think the state that is so fond of locking her up and putting him in the custody or social services (i.e.:a foster home I think) should give them free sessions with a psychologist and assist with their meal planning and enable the transition from the more convenient fast food route to the less convenient yet healthier options that wil enable him to lose weight. This will also involve some degree of exercise, which at first will seem minor to anyone else but seem major to him. She is not qualified to do this and if the state really cares so much about rehabilitating him to a healthy state and not just throwing her into jail they will do some of these because he is a human being and so is she. But there are other parts of this thst figure into the story that I know nothing about. All I know for certain is that he needs help, and without proper guidance she is not the person he will receive it from. If the state provides psychological services to them both individually and together there is a chance.
910
DAISY2203
5/11/2010
4:13:41 PM

 It is a sad story, but one that has been duplicated many times in many areas.
Instead of jail time etc... use the funding or tax money that would be used anyway to stage an intervention of sorts.
Child goes to a "rehab" facility to combat the eating problem and learn proper diet and exercise for his age and health parameters. He would learn about his state of health currently and what that would mean long term down the road if he did NOT change... They help him learn about proper nutritcian and put those skills to use imediatley so he begins to shed the pounds and make a lifestyle change.

The mom/involved family members be made to go to an inpatient counseling and family rehab to also learn about what they did, the physical, emotions and health dangers they subjected him to, how they could have prevented it and how to support his new lifestle when he reaches the end of his inpatient stay.

Everyone of them needs counceling both seperate and together before and after treatment.... jail does not FIX anything.
909
MSCHRAM51
5/11/2010
7:48:22 AM

 We let people have their children back after they have beaten them and starved them. What about she gets her child back once she has a plan in place to help him on the road to a healthier life and have weekly if not more check ins. Get a nutritionist and a exercise trainer involved.
908
LESSOFJEN
5/6/2010
1:01:00 PM

 Ok this will sound harsh but she says she doesn't have money to get him treatment but she has money to buy all the crap food hes been eating and it takes a LOT more than just a few fast food trips to get up to 555 lbs. and this is a CHILD. I see so many overweight children and it is really sad and I have a friend with an overweight child and she says oh she doesn't eat that much...well you don't get to almost 200 lbs. at 12 years old from eating very little thats for sure! It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that fast food and chips and cookies are NOT healthy and if you have the money to spend on this stuff you surely have the money to spend on healthy alternatives too. I know healthy foods are more expensive and that is an excuse I used to use too but I stopped buying fast food and started buying the more expensive healthy options and you know what I found? After a week of withdrawels from the crap food I didn't crave it anymore and it took less healthy food to fill me up than all the fast food that kept me wanting more and I SAVED money in the end!
The governement isn't going to change the standards with food, they make too much money off of it, its up to US to NOT buy it period!
I don't believe in blaming the parents for everything that kids do but in some cases it IS their fault. I think this is a wake up call for her and yes she should get her son back and I think if they monitor the situation changes will be made.
907
KBERRIEC
4/30/2010
12:18:54 PM

 Maybe they just need to put her on some kind of probation and if at the end of that time she doesn't, then take her son away and put her in jail. She is slowly killing him. I don't know if children can die due to complications from being over weight, but if that kid dies by eighteen, she should be held accountable for that too.
906
HARMONYWIND
4/30/2010
9:29:19 AM

 This young man definitely needs help right away ... he is at risk, he is in danger of innumerable health problems and even death.

That being said, the Mom should get her child back ... I agree with what many of you have said ... if this boy had anorexia CPS would sypmpathize and offer help (if they got involved at all) ... they would not take the child away. They would teach/counsel and assist and show compassion and THAT is what needs to be done here. There must be more to this story for them to go to such an extreme ...or I would hope so at any rate.

I was an obese child and there was nothing my overworked parents could do to keep that twinkie out of my hand. This mother may need to be educated as to what is healthy BUT more than that this young man needs to be educated, he needs to be taught the consequences of his actions, how to improve his circumstance, get couseling and he needs to learn how to eat in as healthy a way as his circumstances will allow (not just what should be but what is feasible).

SC is filled with underpriviledged families (POOR with a capitol P) and eating healthy, stocking your shelves with healthy fruits and veggies and the more expensive whole grain offerings, is not always financially an option.

I would love to feed my family healthy offerings all of the time but when apples are 1.99 a pound (and I would need 35 apples for each of my kids to have one in their lunch every day for a week) and gummy snacks are 1.99 for 12 and I only have 100.00 for groceries every week (which is a fortune to some) ... well what do you choose? I always try to choose the fresh veggies and fruit but somedays I just can't.
905
NOTKATHRINE
4/27/2010
3:23:21 PM

 Yes, charge her. It's worse than starving your kid, they actually have to live like that! "No" can be a parent's greatest weapon if they know how to use it.
904
GUARDIANANGEL31
4/20/2010
4:10:11 AM

 I don't think sending the mother to prison is the answer. One: he is 14 years old -- old enough to make decisions himself and bear some of the responsibility. Two: teach them healthy eating and exercise habits. Three: she works three jobs, where is the time for her to regulate his food, and let me reiterate he needs to be held somewhat responsible. Even she does it when she is home, it probably wouldn't do much good -- because she is at work so much of the time. Four: placing him in foster care might not help and it might make things even worse. Five: Why not ask Oprah, Dr. Oz and/or the Doctors for help. Finally, why not get him on a show like "Intervention" for help
903
ROCKSTARLICIOUS
4/14/2010
9:43:29 AM

 Instead of paying for punitive solutions which aren't really solutions and wreck families even more, assign someone to come and teach them good habits that fit in their schedule. Healthy eating, healthy meal planning and socking away for the week, etc.
902
TEXASLAWYERMOM
4/7/2010
11:52:23 AM

 I have worked with CPS for the last decade as an attorney and honestly, there are times that children need the kind of help & guidance their parents cannot give them, but the parents need help too. This needs to be a time that the child and the mother learn how to manage their nutrition and health. If the child was on death's door because of anorexia or malnutrition, I wonder if anyone would be saying that the child needed to stay with his mother?
901
HOCKEYCHICK1962
4/6/2010
9:48:36 AM

 I think they should be put somewhere together for a while, like a halfway house. Somewhere they can both learn how to keep this kid from dying. They don't belong apart and she needs help and education before she can properly care for him, like a parent who has to use medical equipment for a sick child. He needs someone to save his life.
900
REDTWIN1504
4/2/2010
1:43:02 PM

 I think that the kid is 14 years old. He's a kid but still responsible for what he puts in his mouth. In this case there is plenty of "blame" to go around, but I don't think punishing the mom or anyone else is useful here. We need to incorporate more nutrition education in our schools... maybe that can make a difference for other children.
899
26CMOROSZ
4/2/2010
12:18:34 AM

 From the article it doesn't sound like mother and child were given the help they needed. If she is working all the time she is not able to watch everything he eats and how much. If she can't afford what was offered they were set up for failure. At 14 years old the boy needs to be taught to be responsible for his choices. He should be taught how to cook and portion control. If the state can afford foster care than it can afford to help pay for a child care arrangement where the boy is watched more closely. This is a critical time in his life and not just in regards to food. Being seperated from his mother is not going to make him stop eating and he will be angry about it and any stranger housing him who tries to watch his every move.
898
BROWNIEISLANDER
4/1/2010
9:17:31 PM

 This is a serious matter,and should be addressed right away with medical help and guidance for the son and also the mother.There has to be more to this story.Behind every dark cloud is a golden sky.
897
ZZSUNSHINE
3/28/2010
10:03:35 PM

 I agree that there has to be more to this story than is provided to us. Exactly the amount of food he was eating, his health condition, etc. I think that the parent and child should be monitored together to see what is going on and ongoing therapy.
896
BILL_J_M
3/25/2010
2:57:45 PM

 To call it neglect would require more intensive knowledge of the situation.
Does the boy have some type of thyroid disorder?
How much was he eating?
Was the stress of not having his mother around for many years because she was working to keep them in a home, a part of his weight gain?
Plain and simple they both need professional help, and our government does not have programs available to help people with serious weight issues. The boy should be returned to his mother and they both should be given the help that they need,
895
MISHA_T
3/24/2010
5:41:04 PM

 I think that there needs to be some arrangement where he can be helped medically and at the same time, be with his mother. Maybe something in-patient? Separating children from parents is really hard for kids. I think she was a woman who was dealing with problems bigger than she could handle and not enough resources. Should we punish the child for his mother's disadvantages?
894
TIMEMINE
3/24/2010
12:52:36 PM

 It's definitely neglect. I don't think she should go to jail, but should be made to take nutrition and fitness classes with her son.
893
LESSOFME59
3/24/2010
6:28:17 AM

 I was obese as a child (not 555 lbs) and when I asked my Mother why she let me get as big as I got (180 lbs at the age of 13 was the heaviest I got before taking charge of my own body) she said "eating made you happy". I love my mother but I think this was an easy "out" for her. Give her food, she's happy and I don't have to interact with her much. This child didn't get to 555 lbs overnight; this is neglect. If the boy was a crack addict and the mother was the one supplying the drug, her butt would be in jail....no questions asked. Instead the addiction is food and the 'drug' is whatever unhealthy food choice he's ingesting. The boy needs his mother, however, and I think they need to be given another chance. Maybe I'm just blowing dust off my own personal baggage but I do blame the mother in this case. Being tired and overworked should not be an acceptable excuse.
892
ABBYDOODLE2
3/23/2010
8:02:49 PM

 I am not a bleeding heart. Effectively what that mother has done is commit murder. Those fat cells will be with him the rest of his life. Even if the doctors can get the weight down, it will be easy to put back on. If she loves him this is almost like munchausen syndrome --she is killing him with the food even though she says she loves him.

I support the child protective services. The child needs education about his medical situation and to be retrained in eating and psychological support. So does the mother. Only after both have been reeducated, I would start with supervised visits that grow into longer periods.

It breaks my heart every day when I see a grocery cart of garbage at the checkout counter and children obese standing around the woman. I also know of a woman that worked with my hubby with an extremely overweight child at about age 10. At the point my husband had left the company the doctor had given her meal plans and three months or he was turning her over to child protective services and advise the child be taken away. Don't know what happened. That was 20 years ago. I applaud the forward thinking doctor.

Just walk around town and look at all the overweight children who wear the great big pants falling off with large shirts trying to hide everything. That is no way to raise a child. No way. Parents have no excuse.

Both of these people need a lot of retraining, psychological support, and the mother is not fit at this time. She has had 14 years to get it right and instead she has been silently killing him---now is that a great mom or what?
891
LINBUTLER
3/23/2010
4:13:59 PM

 I don't think taking the child away from his mother is helping either one of them. They both need help. If she is working multiple jobs to make ends meet, she can't be there to control what he is eating. He needs to understand why being so big is unhealthy and needs to be taught good eating habits. It's sad that the unhealthy food is cheaper than healthy food especially in fast food. If mom's not around to cook and/or monitor what he's eating he will eat whatever. I would be interested in finding out what was done prior to taking him away from his mother.
890
TIMETOLOSE2010
3/22/2010
10:05:14 PM

 I agree with most of the people who've left comments. ie there is something more going on here. both the child and the mother have some psychological/spiritual dysfunction. Are you really sure she went to jail? It doesn't seem that would be what a judge would do or what our legislation would regulate. That would waist our tax money and not rectify the situation. It is likely that the child needs to be removed from the family and put in a therapeutic group setting to help him learn to self regulate etc. I'm going to keep them and the people that are trying to help them in my prayers.
889
CHOC_LAIT
3/21/2010
9:05:53 AM

 This is a difficult one. Without knowing what the state did to assit her in helping her son, its difficult to cast an opinion on something without all the facts. That said, we don't know all the facts so we have to be careful the type of comments we make in this case.

Yes she loves her son and a child needs their mother and shouldn't be taken away. However, a mother who physically abuses their child believes they love their child; yet we would want the state to take that child away. How is this different?

A mothher working multiple jobs trying to provide the best she knows how, should not be casterated for her mistakes. Yes, its a life threatening mistake, so really give her a chance to make the right choices to help her son. Fast food places are offering healthier choice, more expensive; yes, but the choices are there.
888
DOCROTAK
3/21/2010
7:29:10 AM

 I don't want to sound heartless, but it is clear that the mother is not in a position to help her son lose weight. Now, that doesn't mean she is a bad mother or deserves to be in jail, but if you reunite them, I don't think there will be a change. The poor woman has to work 2 jobs to make ends meet, she doesn't have the time or resources to help her son lose the weight he needs to lose. At some point, they should be reunited. But it should be after several months creating a habit of healthy living for the kid - 14 is old enough to learn nutrition and exercise habits, and the kid needs to learn it himself. Give him 4 months where he exercises regularly and eats healthy, keep him in frequent contact with his mom and keep his mom informed about what is going on (so that she can continue the trend when they are reunited), and he could lose weight. Otherwise, he's just going to keep gaining weight.
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KAYLANG
3/21/2010
5:16:47 AM

 This is a difficult one to answer. Trying to work 2 jobs and spend time with your child takes it's toll on alot of us. I also understand the financial hardships too, but 555 lbs......he didn't get there in one night. Since he is now in the custody of the state, why don't they use the money the are spending on that to reunite them and get them the help they seem to need so badly.
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ANWMCK
3/20/2010
9:32:44 PM

 I've worked 2 jobs before and gained weight myself from fast food because of it ,I didn't have any children to feed on top of my hectic schedule. I think the child should be returned to the mom -being away from each other is going to make it worse on them-I am not saying she is not wrong for letting it go this far
885
DOMINICA_ALEXIA
3/20/2010
6:41:13 PM

 This is definitely neglect. While it is heartbreaking to see a child taken from his mother, it's even worse when that child has been allowed to weigh far more than is healthy.
884
KIMSFITNESS1
3/20/2010
11:19:19 AM

 Wow... This is a tough one but I am sure that his doctor's warned her abouthis weight and the risks associated with that. I am sure that they discussed what he should or shouldn't eat. I am sure she could have went to the grocery store and bought healthier foods that he would not have had a choice but to eat. I know he did not gain that much weight overnight, so my last statement still remains. Because he is 14 years old now, he had the abilities to make his own choices and own decisions and if there were only healthy foods in the house for him to snack on and eat for meals then his choices would have been more healthy choices.

I have noticed that a lot of parents do not want to deal with their children's attitudes when it comes to eating healthy foods, so rather than encourage them, they let them have whatever they want. Many parents also feed their children so they will just " shut up" so they do not have to tolerate whinning or fussing or arguing or spoiledness. It has become a very sad issue. And this is another reason for obesity in children.

Now in this case, with her working multiple jobs, there were probably some emotional issues with the child too. Where was the quility time he needed with his mother, where is the father, where was the person who took him outside to play when he was younger. Was he given a video game to play to a remote control to change the channels on the t.v. while his mother was at work? Does he have a thyroid issue, or other medical condition that would result in weight gain or the inability to loose the weight in the amount of time they were given from the authorities? With him being a teenagers, you cannot always control what they do all the time. His mother may have tried to help her son, but because she was not there all the time and could not watch him all the time and the plain old fact that he was a teenager, she couldn't get his weight down in time. Another issue is his height. How tall is he. If he is 6'5", then the severity of the weight is not as bad as when you here 555 lbs. A lot of the weight would have to do with his height and then being overweight. Another issue would be her weight and the weight of his family on both the mother and fathers sides. She may not have seen him as being too overweight if she and her family are all overweight too. He may not have seen hisself as being overweight if he is used to seeing it on many of his family members.

There are a lot of issues not addressed in this article so it's hard for me to say whether or not she should be in jail. But the fact still remains, her child is severely overweight, whether or not he is tall or not and yes it is her fault for not helping him thoughout the years. But I don't think she abandoned or neglected her child. She just made a lot of poor choices in his eating habits while he was growing up.
883
RHORNUNG
3/19/2010
10:00:41 PM

 Sad story but jail is not the answer. A bit heavy handed for my tastes but mandated education, monitoring and counseling would make more sense.
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JEANPOOL1
3/19/2010
7:35:02 PM

 Wow, sad. But when I read that she blames it on financiaI difficulty, it forces me to ask, how much extra time does she have to spend working to buy the food for her son to maintain that kind of weight? I mean I have watched some shows on the morbidly obese, and the mass quantities of food consumed run these folks up a HUGE grocery bill.
881
DEEJACKSON
3/19/2010
10:28:02 AM

 I agree with you, I think this is simply punishing the child.

They need intense intervention and training, but they need it together! This will just add to his emotional problems, and with a sense of abandonment, he may just get bigger or worse, he could die. Keep them together, but help them!
880
BHOOMI2003
3/19/2010
8:58:56 AM

 It's a terrible situation, but I don't understand how putting the woman in jail helps anybody. The U.S. locks up a higher percentage of its population than any other country in the world. Why is that the fall-to position? Providing real help so that the life of the mother and son can actually transform in healthy ways would be a welcome change in approach!
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